I got married to my husband for two reasons. Mostly because his preference to be married was stronger than my preference to avoid it my whole life, but another big reason was that “stepfather” has more legal rights here than “mom’s boyfriend”. It was easier for him to pick my kids up from school or take them to the doctor, things like that. Same with me & his kids .

I don’t disagree but I think there is more too it. Many forces working in tandem to push people into marriage.

Most simply, marriage is glorified by society. It’s considered the ultimate declaration of love (within normal circumstances). Humans often feel the emotion so strongly and wish to express it. Society tells them this is how they should do it. It’s also viewed as an achievement or a measure of love by many societies. You aren’t committed (married)? Do you have cold feet? Do you not love them enough to marry them?

I may be viewed as one of those people for saying it, but there are a lot of pressures to conform to those around you. There is a certain life script - a series of things that those around you have done and expect you to do because… that’s just what you do. You find someone, get married, have kids, etc. If you don’t do these things or take too long to do these things you are defacto weird. You’ll be slowly ostracized, gossiped about, avoided, suspected. You won’t share the life experiences of those around it. It will be awkward. You won’t fit in unless you manage to find enough atypical people to surround yourself with.

Also, most governments create a society where it is beneficial to marry, to encourage stable families and population growth. Certain circumstances can negate the benefits or even counter them, as some commenters have brought up, but in most cases married couples are given boons from the government.

Loser: “This person is legally bound to me so they can’t easily leave even if they want to”

Chad: “This person has no obligation to stay with me, but chooses to because they want to”

I don’t know a single person who would marry for that sort of reason. But the people I know weren’t under any pressure to get married. Some of them are single, some are in long term committed relationships with kids, and some are married.

Maybe if you live in a subculture that expects people to get married by a certain age this is an OK take. But it’s so far from what I see that it seems like a really niche perspective on a complex cultural institution.

It was always just supposed to be a public declaration of partnership and commitment (made with the intention of fulfilling our biological imperative, ofc… remember that reliable, safe and not disgusting methods of birth control weren’t widely available until the late 19th century), not too dissimilar to posting your relationship status on Facebook, just with more weight behind it, lol. And, unless you live in some weird, selectively legally misandrist country that “punishes” men unfairly in divorce (the manosphere talks a lot about it, I assume there’s at least a modicum of truth to it in some places), it still kinda is just that, right? And, evidently, suddenly waking up sometime in your late 20s to 30s and realizing the optics around your singlehood aren’t too positive is one of the worst reasons to hurry into marriage! But many people are silly and live mostly mindlessly, thanks to inertia almost. 😅

it’s actually social pressure. You either care or go with the flow, but idk it doesn’t make much difference in the end