New York had (has?) a similar distinction. It came up in the E Jean Carrol saga; specifically Trump suing for defamation after her lawsuit, because it wasn’t- technically- rape.

IIRC it was dismissed with the judge saying that it fits the modern lay definition of rape and that’s not defamation.

They didn’t call it “sexual assault” either, so I’m inclined to not accept that excuse.

Are we certain he hasn’t already died and they shoved an animatronic chat bot up his ass?

It would explain a lot. Including the smell.

I mean. If it gets him out of politics, I’m sure we can get him an off-mainstreet theater in Branson.

(I know he’s full of shit, like always, but I can snicker, can’t I?)

“we’re against pineapple on pizza”- The heritage foundation just wanting to ruin someone’s day. (Lol. I lie. They’re not that clever.)

Kinda hard to let media in when they all have cameras and are going to show the extent of the rubble.

Details, right?

This is clearly not an onion. It’s a turnip.

Next headline: “IRS Agents receive scrutiny for buying an excess of facial tissues.”

They’re not really being repressed though. Keep in mind, as nuns, they were technically employed by the church.

The church was (and still is,) faced with several problems- the aging building (a castle built in 1877), dwindling numbers of nuns (which means not enough people to care for the grounds or provide the kind of work that allows the nuns as a whole to do whatever kind of work they’re doing (a school, in this case.)

From the article, the church closed the nunnery down, and offered the three existing nuns the right to live there as long as their health was still good.

That declined, so they moved them to a care home.

The nuns didn’t like that so they ran away (sister act vibes, ngl.) and got some previous students to help and broke back in. Then, they began a social media campaign to pressure the church to let it go.

The church caved and said “fine”- they’re now taking the much more expensive option of live-in help, but on the condition they knock off the campaign that they feel makes them look bad.

It doesn’t seem terribly unreasonable, except in the whole “your employer controls your entire life”, but that was something that they more or less agreed to when they became nuns.

The reality seems like, maybe the church doesn’t care so much about dwindling numbers of nuns (and monks,) since this is actually a wonderful recruitment campaign… or could be. If Provost DipShit didn’t have a stick up his but.

yeah. Does anyone actually believe that?

He stabbed it with a soldering iron in an attempt to get to the hardware. Dude’s a dumbass.

I imagine that will be delivered by drone. To oil refineries.

Or something that looks expensive, anyways.

Hmm. I know a few pig farmers that has plenty of waste to get rid of. They normally sell it off as fertilizer, but, eh, I’m sure we can persuade them to donate for the cause.

sucks to be whatever schmuck has to clean out the hold, though.

I wonder what would happen if people started just using water-dropping aircraft to dump tons of water on them. Maybe escalate to some type of really stanky water. Over and over and over and over again.

The two men face a 30-day suspended fine.

can somebody give a better translation? I have a sneaky suspicion DeepL screwed the pooch on that one.

(or if it’s accurate what’s a 30 day fine?)

Either way… heh. yeah. that’s acutally a legitimate complaint, I imagine.

The thing here is that it’s unlikely for, let’s say an investment firm, to be confused with candy.

Same for swimwear and a rapper.

Details.

the US hasn’t already?

the brown stuff is cheese that’s been baked low until it’s uniformly crunchy. Which is great on the edges, for example.

Not so great in the middle.

I’m more worried about how crunchy that pizza looks.

I don’t think pizza is supposed to look like that. I could be wrong, though.

I’m sure his coworkers have meat sandwiches exploding at point blank range all the time, too.

Somebody get the luminol and check for fluids in their office…

Those uniforms are polyester and probably treated with enough teflon/stain block to keep a sharpie from being permanent.

I’ve worn similar hard uniforms (different color, same supplier, probably. There’s only like 3.) and mustard doesn’t take, even if you’re a dolt who lets it set in.

All that to say; there’s no need for him to do more than run it through a normal wash.