Just line the Russian border with these billboards:

Come get it, Daddy Pooty.

Won’t some think of the poor shareholders?!?1?

I want them to be ethical.

I’m gonna tell you something you shoulda heard a long time ago:

Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up first.

Make. Elon. HOMELESS.

Fuck. Sorry you lost your ignorance.

Never thought Donald Rumsfeld would be a step up from Whiskey Gate, but here we are.

Fucking

NO.

TIL the thing under a cat’s tail is an “assterisk.”

sniff sniff

I think there’s some sarcasm in that comment.

Does he like his toast done on one side…?

Please explain how the words you used don’t mean what the words you used mean. Pretty please.

“Rob Schneider is Kenny!”

“Thank you sir, may I have another!”

How? Vlad gonna throw them…?

I snickered way too hard at this.

“I just wanna tear him down, chop him up, and make guac-a-mole.”

Russia: it was caused by one individual smoking. Nothing to see here. Move along.

“This is just plain fuckin’ stupid. Your neighbor gets a dildo that plays ‘O Come, All Ye Faithful’ and you wanna get one too!”

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