When I was in Glasgow I couldn’t understand anybody older than 40.

Fucking hell some of these comments read as redpill bullshit.

Niemand glaubt diese sheißkopfer.

Why would the sex be unsafe? There are Trojans everywhere.

Is it solipsistic in here, or is it just me?

Absolutely was. No ill intent. Just… dammit.

I once had to work super late for dumb reasons. I called the security company and told them I’d be working till ten, so don’t freak out that the alarm system doesn’t get armed. Lady said “Done. Thanks and have a good night!” in a really chipper tone.

Motherfucker I just told you I’m working till 10pm on a Sunday. I’m not gonna have a good night.

It’s very good if you’re into high fantasy. It’s a time investment, though. 6500 pages and counting.

I studied law in college. I interned in a high- powered legal defense office. I’ve met countless lawyers over the years. There are many, MANY wonderful lawyers out there working incredibly hard to better the world and protect disenfranchised people.

Get the fuck out! I am not making you a cottage cheese pastrami sandwich on banana bread! That would severely damage my reputation.

Did you know there’s a direct correlation between the rise of violent crime and the decline of spirograph use? Think about it.

Dammit, not like that!

I dunno. My favorite punk band just canceled their American tour…

Maaaaybe an Alfa, but I’m not buying a damn Fiat.

Beer is arguably the foundation of human society. Grain (and the harvesting of it) is a building block of civilization, and beer is inextricably linked to that.

For the love of god don’t look it up. If you’ve made it this far without hearing it, just count your blessings. It’s worse than you can possibly imagine.

I’m just impressed that Elon finally made something worse than the Harambe rap.