

I have read so many posts like this, that try to explain why their company is a special case and why it could never happen to them, only to see the same thing happen again and again.
Tailscale are trying to insert themselves into the stack and become the go-to choice for this kind of networking. When their customers are dependent on it, of course they’ll start extracting rent and capturing as much as they can.
That’s their right, but it’s also a little condescending to pretend otherwise.

I run a prosody server and have a couple of users who run Monal, and notifications work reliably for us!
I made sure to follow the considerations for server admins and it’s been ok.
Regarding the push service: unless you deploy your own version of the app, it’s not possible to self-host your own push service. The flow looks like this:
XMPP server -> Monal pushserver -> Apple pushserver -> Device
Apple only allows the developer of the app to send notifications to their push server. They enforce this by giving the app developer a key specific to their app.
The linkage between XMPP server and Monal pushserver gets set up by Monal: when it connects to the XMPP server, it instructs it to send messages while it is offline to the Monal pushserver.