All that lossy-ass bitrate music that sounds like a telephone underwater, shame

Green? Like RADIOACTIVE? Like three mile island? Fool me twice, don’t get fooled again!

Toothpaste is just condensed tooth soup. Cream of tooth.

Slop it up!

Pipes are cancer loop de loops.

Reticulated splines

“This next heist will be far more daunting. It will take years of planning and—oh no way, it was changed to ‘Louvre1’”

The first of many

As a journalist who has covered internet culture for a long time, I’ve seen enough hand-drawn images of Sonic the Hedgehog showing feet and pregnant Barack Obama

Either you’re the wrong person for the job, or please say what you really saw.

“She’s a brick and I’m drowning slowly”

which comes with higher speeds and more frequent lane changes

Go kiss a concrete pillar, ya duds

V….P….Nnnnnnnghhh

People who trained the AI and got replaced know how to get wishes.

“I want to be a millionaire…WHO has a Ferrari…THAT I use EVEN THOUGH I can fly around and fight crime… WHICH happens nowhere near my mansion… ON a private island near Hawaii… WHILE…”

“Jesus, I seen what you done for John Denver, and I want that for me.”

“The KKK is a little better than Free Palestine. The crisp white robes? The anonymity? They’re basically racist laundry!”

funky slap bass

He was “speaking at a debate.” He may have learned that direct action is a surprisingly effective technique.

The GOP really don’t want their fellow chasers to get popped in self-defense when the trans panic sets in.

Send more DOGE staffers into the streets alone at night with their propeller beanies and oversized lollipops.

“I wear a size 14 for my huge brain — 88 in metric for you.”

“That’s an interesting worldview you have, Trish! Let’s actualize your goals! I’ve located the nearest agricultural stores with fertilizer and some cheap U-Haul vans you can rent!”