That’s not what I mean….
I was just listening to a biologist podcast about tardigrades and learnt we’ve been subjecting them to all the extremes to see what they can tolerate: super-fast speeds, radiation, you name it we’ve done it to them…
Think if super-advanced aliens did this to us. Oh. Oh god. ‘How much velocity to squish us?’ ‘How much sound to shake us apart?’
Suddenly anal probing doesn’t seem so bad.
e: ‘we’ll stick an appropriately-sized thing into an orifice that seems made for that’ sounds downright friendly by comparison.
Alien abduction stories have a survivorship bias.
2/3 of our planet has a great place to drop test subjects that gave them the answers they wanted outside of fecal samples.
Were you watching my Sims play throughs?
No, yuri tentacle hentai.
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Plot Twist: It is us who enjoy it.
Maybe it’s just some people who are so afraid and yet so fascinated about the thought of getting plowed in the ass, that they have to envision a powerful, advanced alien race that they’re unable to fight, so they can justify the fantasy to themselves without having to come to terms as to why their peepee tingles when they look at other peepees.
Don’t kink shame.
Now I’m picturing a sort of reverse cargo cult situation in which the aliens, after a generation or so, think this is expected as a sort of human greeting.
It seems weird, but it always starts good relations, so…
(e: in some federation of planets, word has got round that this is the customary greeting when visiting earth.)
That’s what you think!
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Probes just don’t do it for him I guess.
Depends on the construction, depth, speed, and any other unfathomable spacetime-related capabilities of said probe.
Most people who report such an experience seem to have been relatively uninjured. e: sometimes they claim to be tagged with a chip or something. We tend to do that to animals, too.
I have never probed an animal’s anus so please speak for yourself.
On the other end of the spectrum, vets go elbow deep into their patients. We’re not judging…
“All we’ve learned is that 1 out of 10 really doesn’t mind.”
Ologies with Ali Ward (aka DadWard) I listened to it yesterday while fixing my hard wood floorboards - pretty interesting hey. I kept thinking the guest sounded a lot like Will Forte.
Pic of your floorboards? Sorry if that’s too forward.
Sure, I like someone who knows what they want. Have three! I had a bit of a rude shock once it was too late to back out - I was like “who the hell glued these quarters down man?!”
Still gotta seal the area. Getting to this point took me far longer than I care to admit.



Ooh.
I live in a 120 year old house and had several rooms violated by the worst fake pictures-of-wood that was glued down with industrial adhesive, and with many patches with terrible wood in conspicuous places.
There’s no way to make my wood look goood naked.
Yours is gorgeous. Thanks.
Alien anal probes ha e and always will be the accepted form of gayness in the rural parts of America. No one wants to say they let Charlie dick them down when they got drunk in the field. “It’s aliens, I swear!!”






